I am wondering today if my ethical scale of badness (for lack of a better term) - you, know, my…

22 February 2025, 11:46 pm by  » Leave a comment on Tumblr

I am wondering today if my ethical scale of badness (for lack of a better term) - you, know, my equivalent list of the mortal sins / ten commandments / whatevs, is an essential issue with my… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ issues…

Because it occurs to me today that it may, in fact, be a problem that being wicked - just an icky no good bad sumabitch - is only at THIRD place for what I will find really truly reprehensible.

It isn’t even usually the first thing I’ll think about when I decide a person belongs in that category. Half the time, it isn’t even what I’ll call them after I’ve decided they belong there. Instead I’ll rely on my number one sin:

Being Stupid

If any of you remember FindingSherlock at this point, that’s actually one of the ancient wisdoms she passed on to me way back in the early aughts. That there is a thing from your family of origin that you are taught through your family culture is the absolute worst and most unacceptable thing you could possibly be.

For her, with her parents very much valuing social appearances (not at all an unusual value, that’s not something I am going to pick on them for, I’ve got other beef with her parents XD) the worst possible thing was fat. So whenever she disapproved of someone, they were fat. It was an unofficial synonym for “Bad.”

“You’re fat,” was her sublimated way of saying, “You’re bad.”

Which she straight up explained and copped to while she was explaining herself and myself to me. And then she immediately launched into talking about how that didn’t fit with her other morals and that she should work on that and separate the two because they weren’t remotely equal in real life.

… T__T and I really kinda miss talking to FindingSherlock all the time. I wish her and Minion didn’t live all the way across the country now T__T. Pro-tip, extra treasure your youthful friendships, you will miss them lots after school is out of the picture. …I miss school, too, come to think of it… but that’s a whole different kettle of fish.

The reason the whole topic came up was because I was pondering my action of doing the same thing. For my family of origin, the worst possible and utterly unacceptable thing you could be was stupid. It covered all other sins.

So whenever I dislike someone, they’re automatically stupid… and anyone I think is in any way stupid, I automatically dislike. Makes for a fairly vicious tautology.

And… actually looking at life and myself critically. I think I may, possibly, maybe, just, in some small way, have finally reached the point that she was at way back when (another pro-tip: make friends with people who are better than you, best way to motivate yourself to grow at the limit you actually can XD makes you seem better, too, because their sheen rubs off on you XD). I think my elevating stupidity to the ultimate sin is not, in fact, congruent with the rest of my world view. If I was forced to make the choice, I would actually rather people be kind than smart. I’d rather they be both but this is an issue of value ranking.

I would rather someone care than intellectualize. Because, the truth is, once you’ve decided on a course of action, being smart just makes you BETTER at defending your position, no matter what it is. A genius who decides the world is flat is not better equipped than a moron to talk themselves out of their false beliefs. They’re worse at it because of what they can do to contort their brains to justify their belief set, right or wrong.

The kinder and more caring you are, the harder it is to hurt other people. Intelligence is an unrelated trait that can be used to push you whichever way you want to go.

Truthfully, I’m a misanthrope. I hate people. I am not nice. I am not kind. I am polite (because impolite is sin #2 on the list I actually function by) which people often mistake for kindness - my wife says what it really is, is cowardice, which is probably true. I am not kind. I rarely care except in intellectual indignation that PEOPLE ARE DOING IT WRONG, THAT’S STUPID, DO IT MY WAY YOU STUPID SHITS, IT’S OBVIOUSLY BETTER BECAUSE I RESEARCHED MORE AND AM SMART (because it would just be too terrible to be dumb, better an axe murderer than stupid… which IS stupid). My honest opinion is that, no, it is not correct that half the people need killing, that’s way too low a number.

BUT

I also notice that I am happier when I am making a practice of being kind to others. I notice that I am happier when I am surrounded by people who are kind to me. And even if it is only an intellectual justification for why I support the political agenda that I do, I do actually think that kindness and caring has inherent value and should be fostered wherever it can grow.

I think I should lean into that. I think that is more of who I WANT to be than who I actually AM, which I don’t particularly like. It’s hard to miss that I share an extreme percentage of the traits that I think define the people who ought to be put up against the wall and shot for a better future. I’m not sure that it is actually noble of me to say that, it speaks poorly of my values and keeping them if I admit, if we’re being intellectually honest, yes, I should be in the majority who should be shot. I think the real instruction there isn’t kill all the stupid bad people, it’s shape up and make yourself myself better to live more congruently with my underlying beliefs.

And… yeah… I should work on that more. It’s a thing. It would be smart ;p

Posted in talking to myself, navel gazing, ethics, morality, philosophy, whatever, I continually wish i had taken more ethics and philosophy than I did » Permalink

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